We’re all on a journey.

I’ve always been somewhat of a judgmental person. More of an under-your-breath type rather than the loud, telling-everyone-what-you-think type. Like rolling eyes at people that you see who maybe look a certain way or do something differently than I would. I’ve gone through a lot of reflection over the last few years, and two things stick in my mind: give people room to be human; and we’re all on a journey.

I was in Walmart a month or two ago, waiting in the self-checkout area for an open register. There was a guy in line ahead of me, probably in his mid- to late-60’s. Covered in tattoos, but otherwise looked pretty normal: shorts, pair of sneakers. I did what I usually do: “Wow, look at this clown, he looks ridiculous.” I don’t remember the exact words, but it would have been along those lines. (I don’t get the tatoo thing. I never will. One thing I find interesting is people who try to look different like everyone else. We’re such a tribal species. Our sports teams, our political parties, how we dress, what we drive, how we talk. At some point some human somewhere will do something different, like some soccer mom decides she’s going to get a few tattoos. Completely out of the ordinary. And other people think, “That’s different, it’s cool!” So they do it, too. And pretty soon everyone is getting tattoos to be different… just like everybody else.) Then I caught myself. Who knows what he’s been through? I certainly don’t. Heck, who knows what he’s going through right now. He might be the nicest guy in the world, might be the guy that stops to fix a flat for your wife someday. Who am I to know or cast my judgment? Maybe he thinks I look like a clown. Heck, maybe he’s right.

I guess the bigger point is that we’re all on a journey. Maybe the way someone looks is something they wish they could change but they can’t; maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s reflective of their past. Maybe it’s reflective of their present. Maybe they like they way they look and I can blow it out my wazoo. What’s for certain is that of the two people in the equation, the only one who definitely has some improving to do is me.

Quitting drinking has crystallized a lot of things for me. We all have ways we can improve. Some major, some not. I like to think of myself as somewhat special: I have a lot of major ways I could improve. I’m impatient, I’m judgmental, I’m inconsiderate. What I’ve tried to do is work on these things. You aren’t going to fix them in a day; you may never fix them, not completely. But one thing I’ve been doing more and more, and I think it’s a result of acknowledging my own shortcomings, is giving people room to be human. The “idiot” who doesn’t use a turn signal. The “moron” who takes too long checking out. And also to understand and remember that we’re all on a journey. I hope I’m quite a different person than I was even 4 or 5 years ago. I’m on a journey, I’m trying to improve on a lot of things.

I say we’re all on a journey, but I also know people that have essentially become caricatures of themselves. They act the way they’ve always acted, do the things they’ve always done. In some ways they live to fulfill the expectations others have for them. That’s the one thing I don’t want to be. I want to keep growing, keep striving to be better.

I was walking home from the grocery store the other day and a phrase popped into my head. “Live on a higher level”. That’s what I’m trying to do.